Rich and Art - The home repair guys on WPHT, explain this news item...

1/99 - News Item:  Railing failure at the Vet during the Army/Navy game prompts investigation.

homeForget for a minute that one of the cadets was injured at the Vet during the Army/Navy game, here are Rick and Art from WPHT (Saturdays at 7am) to explain what happened.

Rick: Welcome to the show everybody. As you know 11 cadets were injured today the Army / Navy game held at Veterans Stadium. A railing gave way under the weight of the cadets causing them to fall out of the stands onto the ground from a height of what looked like 10-15 feet.

Art: I might point out here that the railing in question was alleged to have been held together with Duct Tape.

Rick: That’s right Art. As any fix it guy knows Duct Tape is the most universal of repair tools.

Art: It sure is, I use it all the time. What seemed to be the problem is this case was the improper use of it. Duct Tape has the adhesive qualities and the tensile strength to hold that railing if enough is used. The big question here is, was enough used? Obviously not!

Rick: I’d have to second that Rick, we know throughout history Duct Tape was used to build or repair many landmarks including the Pyramids, the Roman Coliseum, and in one of the best displays of last minute uses, The Trojan Horse.

Art: Now don’t forget how many disasters could have been avoided had Duct Tape been used at the critical time.

Rick: Art, one of my favorites in that category is The Titanic - 10 rolls would have done the trick there...

Art: And can you imagine all the trouble we could have avoided had Betty Currie had some in her desk when Monica came to the oval office with that pizza?

Rick: Of course there are some uses that are not appropriate for Duct Tape like; Mother in Laws, cooking and sex, unless you are into bondage...

Art: Well in the case of bondage I use Painters Tape. It leaves no residue.

Rick: Well you get the point. All this could have been avoided had Duct Tape been properly applied. In fact I would go so far as to say the person responsible for the accident had no clue to the proper use and may in fact be what we in the trade call, “half a bubble short of level.”

Art: He probably has a small tool belt or better yet one of those 5 gallon buckets he carries his tools in.

Rick: Yea, I bet he lives with his mother too. Does anybody know this guy, was his last name Bates?  And does he run a motel?

Art: I myself won’t hire anybody who uses less than 4 rolls of Duct Tape per week. When I hire them that’s the first thing I ask.

Rick: Well it’s time for a break. Coming up next we will have Fornwaith McFinster, legal counsel for 3M corp. as a guest. 3M is the leading manufacturer of the adhesive used for many brands of Duct Tape...

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