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The 1999 Philly Talk Radio Awards

In this, The 3rd annual Philly Talk Radio Awards, we have expanded the categories to just about whatever caught our fancy.  You will note we don't have what could be considered the "normal" major awards such as best news or best show.  That is because we can't agree amongst ourselves who should win those.


Best

  • Best Quote regarding a listener - Judy Franco, NJ101.5 - "At first I thought he was in radio so I was interested in his opinions (about the intricacies of job hunting in the radio industry) but once I found out he wasn't ... it was like, Shut Up."  You just gotta love that!

  • Best Kids "Talk" Show  - WXPN, Kid's Corner.  Nobody even comes close!

  • Best Team Player - Dom Giordano - Originally nominated for "Pinball"

  • Best male / female team - Dennis and Judy.

  • Best Traffic - John Brown - Yawn, yes... again.

  • Best Caller - The "Cornpone Caller" - It doesn't get any better than this folks!

  • Best Laugh (unforced) - John Debella - A heart attack in every chuckle

  • Best Laugh (evil) - Kent Voss Dom nicknamed him "The Evil Laughmeister"

  • Best Sweepers - John Debella - For that stuff he played leading into and out of breaks.MP3 sound file #1  file #2  file #3  file #4 (requires WinAmp or MS Windows Media Player)

  • Best Music - Rollye James, again - Even after she lost some of her bumper music.  Just after last year's awards DB was putting her "carts" into their PC and accidentally erased many of them while failing to successfully copy them!  In Radio THAT is a valid defense for manslaughter.

  • Best Idea - Tie, 1 - Giving John Debella a shot, 2 - Dumping Trashtalk

  • Best Infomercial - Are you kidding?!?!

  • Best Bitch - Dr. Laura - Best, Worst... it's all the same, she's a bitch!

  • Best PC show - Rich Levin / runners up, The CompuDudes who weren't on all year but were recently picked up by WHYY.  Forget the syndicated shows.

  • Best self destruction of a local radio exec. - Jim Casale (Hello 911?) - Somebody won a lot of money on that pool.

  • Best Political Performance on talk radio- Bucks County DA Alan Rubenstien - this guy exudes the qualities that will make him a great judge.

  • Best commercial spot - Joel Gibbs for "Sunday Sunday" - Thomas Jewelers

  • Best Amateur - Michael Smerconish - Being a lawyer by day (God help him), Michael qualifies as an amateur.

  • Best station spot (short) - WWDB for "Beastly... we mean Beasley broadcasting"

Worst

  • Worst Performance by a political candidate - Mary WHINEberg, Crybaby... he had the nerve to complain that Susan Bray was going too tough on him.

  • Worst Laugh - Dr. Laura - Kinda makes ya want to go postal don't it? or vomit.

  • Worst Idea - Tie, 1 - Trashtalk, 2 - G. Gordon Liddy rerun at 7pm

  • Worst idea that won't go away - Regular hosts doing infomercials

  • Worst Infomercials - The Prostate Quack / Penis Pump... Pump THIS!

  • Worst print coverage of the local talk scene - tie, Inky and the Daily

Most

  • Most Computer-Illiterate host - Irv Homer - Ya gotta love him for that.

  • Most Computer-Illiterate host who actually uses one - Tom Marr, extra points for effort

  • Most likely to be burned in effigy - Mark Wiliams

  • Most Bass added to a host's mic - Dennis Malloy, NJ101.5 - Nice voice but God turn down whatever the hell it is that makes your voice sound like that... once you get Judy sounding just right on your stereo then boom, Dennis talks!  You're just Jelous Dennis has a "pair"

  • Most incomprehensible "Handle" - Larry Gifford, "Yadahooda" ?? Larry corners various sports and media types, at gunpoint we think, and tapes them saying "yadahooda" - Why? beats us but as a footnote the "Worst sense of humor" award goes to John LeClair for refusing to "yadahooda" - Get a grip PAL, you're a hockey player.

  • Press outlet most in need of Dr. Corea's Penis Pump - The Inky and the Daily News.

Serious Awards

Public Service:

  1. Michael Smerconish for countering the Mumia BS

  2. Irv Homer for his years of support for the Sunshine Foundation

  3. Dom Giordano for exposing the Temple Pedophilia Study.

All the rest

  • The "Program Director that didn't cause any agita" award - To Eric Johnson, NJ101.5 - That was Before Roberta and Sorensen left but still he gets high marks for not blowing up the station.

  • The "Knee Jerk Conspiritorial Wackos Were Right" award - to Art Bell for his Waco coverage.  Art and many others have been saying for years the feds were lying only to be ridiculed as a nut.

  • The Popeye look alike award - Dr. Corea - Oh, and cut down on the Beta Carotene as well.

  • The "e coli" award  - The Jelinicks - Golden Moment, when a caller asked for directions and Frank cut off Mary with his own and very wrong set of directions only to be contradicted by the next 5 callers.  Does anybody remember the movie "Soylent Green" based on the book, "Make Room - Make Room?"

  • The "Carl Ichan Cash and Trash" award - The Beasleys, of course.

  • The "Storm Memorial Most Hated Liberal" Award - Larry Platt, 'PHT fill-in.

  • The "Bridge-Burner" Award (tie) Michael Smerconish and Tom Marr for the way they talk about 'DB on the air.

  • The "Trying to Burn Bridges But Nobody Cares" Award - Irv Homer, for all the things HE said about 'DB while on AM860.

  • The "Perennial Good Sport" Award - Susan Bray... Yanked around time slots, exiled to AM, forced to do infomercials, she still sounds like she likes her job.

  • Mystery of the year- What happened to Kent Voss' sound machine and why on earth did it reappear?

  • Advertiser with the most balls - Rich Hoch from Thomas Jewelers.  Says what he feels.  I have to listen to other advertisers whine but Rich puts it on the line.

  • The Political Sinking Stone award - City Controller Jonathan Saidel.  What a buttwipe HE turned out to be.

  • The "Black Helicopter Award" for best presentation of conspiracy topics - Rollye James.

AWARDS FOR THE POSTERS:

  • Best Nickname awarded to a host, "YentaBitch" for Dr. Laura by Sandie

  • THE PROZAC AWARD: Now there are many that deserve this award, but my vote goes to "UsaGiJoe" for that penis pump antennae post. Definitely the most creative and funnist post of the year!

  • THE BLOND AWARD: Goes to all those posters who didn't receive any responses to their posts. What the hell did they say anyway? No one understood them, or didn't care. Either way, they were "blond" statements.

  • BRAIN CELLS ON LEAVE OF ABSENCE AWARD: The Beasley's for firing Rollye & John.

  • The "Columbo" award to Sam for always correctly guessing who all those "Insiders" are when they post.

  •  Best Post - Storm for

Passage
Tuesday, 10-Aug-1999 12:26:01

    Well, yesterday evening, to the strains of Schumann's Träumerei, I eliminated WWDB from the buttons of my radios. 
    Perhaps it is a good omen for surely now the whisper goes round the cubbies of the WWDB studios, "Storm no longer listens." 
    Frantic meetings will soon be called at East Levering Mill Road to address the crisis. 
    Pallor will dim the faces of the WWDB secretaries, while panic will ripple through the station's advertisers.
    Someone, unable to stand the misery any longer will rise and, through splashing tears, call for a restoration of sanity. 
    Slowly the word will echo and voices will rise, fists will pound, feet will stomp and WWDB will cast off the Czars of destruction and return to its days of triumph. 

    Or it may not.

Runner up - Bill - Will the last barbarian to leave town please lock the gate

 


Archived 1998 awards

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